I'm not someone who is big on logistics necessarily - however at times when I think about how the future will all work out, rather than just simply remembering that God has it all sorted, I tend to think about how I am going to get everything sorted. It was that kind of doubt and worry that tried to creep into my mind last night. But I prayed over that and I was reminded of the words of Psalm 46, particularly verse 10: "He says, 'Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.'"
When we accept that God is God, despite our human failings then there is a peace which surpasses all understanding and enables us to live a life of hope despite not understanding. This last couple of months I've been questioning why my Grandmother had to die from such a terrible sickness, why a family friend passed away despite her faith and the faith of those around her. Today I'm definitely question why a promising young cricket talent in Philip Hughes was taken in such a freak accident.
It's easy to say 'no worries' as a throw away phrase. It's harder to live it. I have worries, I have doubts, I question. I wonder whether my friendships will remain as strong into the future. I wonder if I'll still be pursuing the same career path. I wonder all these multiple trivial little details that really do mean nothing. Because in the end what matters is trusting in God. It's not about having no doubts, but it's about being able to cast those doubts upon God.
Do I get why this suffering has happened? Do I get why the timing of events is happening? Do I understand why love works as it does? Do I understand why faith works like it does? No, even as I might wish. But I want to trust God despite that. Because there was something he told me a while ago which is that even if things don't turn out like I hope, they will turn out for me like he hopes and that makes all the difference.
To finish this post off before I just inanely ramble: we are Christ's ambassadors in a world of pain, fear and all manner of doubt. Like the men and women of faith in Hebrews 11 we are not called to have no doubts (Abraham and Moses had doubts) but we are called to have faith. And that means stepping out in the hope we don't always understand, recognising that God loves perfectly. And it's this trust in God that carries me on into the future.
Psalm 46: 1-3
1God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.