Search This Blog

Monday, 14 December 2015

Why Did I Ever Doubt You God?

A few days ago I had a moment where I was hurting, in pain and doubting God's promises. At one point I yelled out, attacking the enemy who would try and bring such emotions against me. I was trying to build my faith in my own strength in some ways but God was already working behind the scene to build up my faith again.

You see, my faith was low because I doubted that God had really put into my heart the date that I had chosen to propose to my girlfriend. In short, because she had been a little mad at me for something and was busy ignoring me. But despite the doubt that plagued me, God was giving me a faith despite my circumstances. 

And when, finally she contacted me again to find out where I was and I had to tell her that I was at her apartment with a surprise I knew that God's plan was working its way into effect. Especially when she opened the door to candles and my small attempt at intimate romance and chose to run to my arms for a long hug for the first thing. And when I showed her the room all decorated with little details, and read through two journals of photos and words about our journey together I was reminded again of what a promise from God she is. And then finally I asked her to marry me and she said 'yes with all my heart' and I knew that truly no weapon of doubt or anything formed against me can stand because my God is for me and not against me.

And then today following a whirlwind, romantic weekend of informing everyone about the news, I finally received an email asking me to my first interview. The location might not be where I expected, but I know that this first interview is where God planned it to be and if it becomes something more then He is good. If it does not then He is good anyway.

At the moment I am wiping away tears of joy because truly my God has just shown me his power and greatness of His timing in my life. He has surprised me this year with more than I could have dreamed or hoped. It's been a stormy journey like the one Chris Hemsworth's character goes on in In the Heart of the Sea, but like that character I have come to realise that there are some things so much bigger than me and my own journey. Because ultimately God is the one who charts my journey and He is the one I will hold onto. I know the answer to why I ever doubted God - I am just a man. But again I, in awesome wonder, stop and consider how great He is...

Psalm 18:2 - The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold